Ruby helps you and your family work together to prepare and organize finances.
It’s a must. The conversation, that is. It’s going to happen. We are going to age, and there are going to be complications because of it.
Ideally, parents will approach their children armed with their completed power of attorney documents, advanced care plans, burial plans, and already have their name on the waitlist at the local multi-tiered facility that will take them all the way from independent living to full 24-hour nursing care.
But, this is unlikely. It’s very easy to have the mentality of “it’s too early to discuss this” but the worst thing is when it is too late. We can assure you: It’s time. So here are some tips.
Honor your loved one’s private nature by keeping those present at the meeting to immediate family. This might mean that although a parent loves his son-in-law, he does not need to be present for this conversation, this time. So think, who needs to be at this first conversation?
Meet in a peaceful, neutral setting.
Maybe you’re all together and everyone is feeling content and happy. Now might be a perfect time to say “Mom, Dad… Jenny, Bruce and I would like to talk with you for a few minutes. We are all in town and want to learn about how you would like us to handle things in the future.”
“I’ve been thinking about making a will. Do you have any advice?”
“We want to learn about how you would like us to handle things in the future.”
“I saw an article online about keeping all my important papers. It made me think… could you show me where all yours are just in case?”
“I’m getting my eyes tested next week. Have yours bothered you lately?”
“My friend’s mom just had some hand-rails put around her tub. Have you thought about what you’d like to do about things like that down the road?”
Make sure you are all on the same page. If you are a potential caregiver, discuss the goal of the meeting and come up with a list of questions you want to ask your parents in regards to their financial, health, and medical status. Start by putting them first.